Timing – Couples Coaching by Ultimate Life

Once my ego is under control, I can then wait for the right timing to talk. Sometimes it may take a couple of weeks before Joy brings up the subject and it’s the right time to talk about it. It works so well to wait for the right time. I had to suppress my ego a few times, and remind myself to wait. But after we finally talked and it was beautiful how we connected, it was so worth it. The verse that says “don’t let the sun go down on your anger”, used you make me think we have to talk now before we go to sleep. In my experience waiting works so much better.  Another way to think of that verse is to deal with my ego before I go to bed, NOT to talk about a trigger before we sleep.

So often we are tempted to address something right when it’s on our mind. A mother may be at home with three little children who need her attention all day long, The moment her husband walks in the door, she wants to share with him her challenges of the day, to talk with an adult for the first time in hours, to get his input on something important, Etc. Yet his need, his precious need, may be to give her a quick kiss and get to the bathroom after his drive from work. Timing might mean holding on a little longer until he’s had a chance to settle in, then engage him in conversation. Or maybe a husband’s been working all day in the sun and needs to get a glass of water, sit in the shade for 20 minutes with his feet up before he’s able to even think about what she so desperately wants to discuss. Maybe he’s watching a game and needs to see the end. Perhaps she’s in the middle of an online project and would like to see the end before talking. Timing is so valuable. When we think of the other person’s precious need, they are more able to truly engage and connect with our need when the time is right.

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